Chapter 1: Our Story

"Every story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite"

Whenever someone asks us how we met, we always look at each other and laugh, then ask, "Do you want to hear the short version or the long version?" Well, for anyone who is interested, here is the full, unabridged version of our story.

A few key terms for people not as familiar with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

Mission: A period of 18 months (young women) or two years (young men) of voluntary service. Missionaries devote all of their time to teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ to anyone interested in learning, as well as provide other forms of service to anyone in need. Missionaries serve in companionships and stay with their assigned companion at all times.

Ward/Branch/Stake: A local congregation. A branch is a smaller version of a ward. A stake is a collection of wards, similar to a Catholic diocese.

Temple: Temples are literally houses of the Lord. One temple ordinance is celestial marriage, in which husband and wife are sealed (bound) to one another for eternity. A sealing performed in the temple continues forever if the husband and wife are faithful to the covenants they make.

Josh’s Backstory

Josh: My dad (American) served in the Germany Frankfurt mission, which is where he met my mom (German), who was serving in the Germany Munich mission (there happened to be one city, Würzburg where missionaries from both missions served, and they both served there at the same time). After the mission, they reconnected and then decided to get married. Because of that, I grew up speaking both German and English at home.

When I was 14 I got my patriarchal blessing, in which I was promised that on my mission I would “not be handicapped with a language barrier, but [would] preach and converse with full understanding.” Now, that could have meant a number of things. I could have gone to an English-speaking country, I could have gone to a country with a foreign language that I would learn easily, or I could have been called to a German-speaking mission. Well, five years later I opened my mission call to find that I had, like my father before me, been called to the Germany Frankfurt mission and would report to the Missionary Training Center (MTC) on February 4, 2009 to serve for a period of two years. I was really excited, but I promised my dad before I left that I would 1. not meet my wife on my mission, and 2. never marry a German. My plan was that I would get home from my mission, date around for a year or two, then meet a girl and get married a year or two later. But God must have a sense of humor…

Luisa’s Backstory

Luisa: I also grew up in an LDS family (my parents joined the Church in the late 70s), but between the ages of 10 and 20 I wasn’t an active member, and neither was my family. When I was 20, I realized that I had been unhappy with my life throughout my teenage years and when my mom invited the missionaries over, I saw something in their countenance that I was lacking. I already prayed regularly, but that day I prayed with a very specific question: “Heavenly Father, what do you want me to do to be happy?” And then I heard a sentence in my head that said simply, “Go to church.” I knew I had to do that and that following Sunday I went and my parents came with me. On that occasion I felt the Holy Ghost stronger than I ever had before and knew that that was where God wanted me to be. From then on I made the necessary steps to become a fully-active member of my faith.

I decided that I was going to serve a mission, but since I was a little bit older than many Sister missionaries, I told Heavenly Father that if I served a mission for him, he needed to have someone waiting for me when I got home that I could marry.

When I was 23 I received my mission call to serve in the Temple Square Salt Lake City mission. However, the visa process to come to the U.S. for my mission ended up taking longer than expected and I was asked if I wanted to serve in the Frankfurt mission until my visa went through. I was scared of the idea of starting my mission without going to the MTC (I wouldn’t have had much time to prepare at all) so I decided to wait until the visa came through and flew to the MTC to begin my mission on June 22, 2009. Like all Sister missionaries, I was called to serve for 18 months.

Looking back, if I had decided to start out in the Frankfurt mission, there is a good chance we would have met each other during that time. Who knows how things might have been different in that case?

Before we Met

Luisa: During my mission, I wrote to my family every week, sharing my experiences and my testimony with them. During the second half of my mission, my second-oldest brother, Sören, started making big changes in his life and becoming more open to the Gospel and the Church. He eventually became active again after 15 years of inactivity. In that time, my parents were also called to serve a mission within their stake, and serve in the Münster branch.

Josh: About a year and a half into my mission, I was serving in the American serviceman ward in Ramstein, Germany. Everyone in the mission was really excited because there was going to be a mission merge at the end of that transfer (missions are broken up into periods of six weeks, called "transfers" because missionaries can be transferred to a new location at the end of each period). The Hamburg and Switzerland missions were going to be merged into the Berlin and Munich missions, respectively, and our mission would be receiving the Dortmund Stake from the Hamburg mission, the Erfurt District from the Berlin mission, and the Nürnberg Stake from the Munich mission.

The transfer ended and I was really surprised to find out that I was being transferred. I had only been in Ramstein for six weeks at that point, and I had also been serving as a Zone Leader for the past 9 months and expected to stay in that position until the end of my mission. I was being released and transferred to the northernmost city in the mission, Münster, which was in the Dortmund Stake, one of the stakes that had just been added to the mission.

When I arrived, it was a little rough at first. The ward in Ramstein had had well over 200 people in church every Sunday, and in the Münster branch we had about 20 people on a good Sunday. It was also tough being transferred into an area that had previously belonged to another mission, where the missionaries had been used to doing things differently. One family in the branch in particular, however, was extremely supportive and I grew very close to them in a very short period of time. Their son had also just a few weeks earlier started coming back to church after a long time and was completely fired up about the Gospel.

One of his best friends noticed all the changes he had made in his life and the excitement he had for the Church and started to have conversations with him about it.

Luisa: I was really excited at this time because my brother, Sören, told me about a friend of his who was interested in learning about the Gospel and the Church, and since Temple Square missionaries have the opportunity to call people all over the world and refer missionaries to them, I asked him if he wanted me to call his friend, answer some questions, and ask her if she wanted to meet with the missionaries in her area. He said yes, and I got to talk to her and she was open to talk to the missionaries.

Josh: I was one of the missionaries who got to meet with Sören’s friend. After a time teaching her, she decided to get baptized, which is one of the happiest things a missionary can hear from someone he/she is teaching, especially in Germany, where not many people decide to take that step.

In the time leading up to her baptism, I started thinking about the chain of events leading up to that occasion. Luisa’s family had shared their story of coming back to church and they were so proud of their daughter who was currently serving a mission. I knew that Luisa’s letters to her family had been an instrumental part of Sören’s decision to come back to church after so long, and that had led to his friend deciding to get baptized.

This picture, for example

I decided to write Luisa a letter, sharing how glad I was that she had decided to serve a mission and how amazing it was the effect that she was having back home through her service. Her family was literally experiencing miracles because of her example and her service. It was a missionary’s testimony about the Gospel and the Lord’s hand in our lives, like the letters I wrote to friends of mine who were on their missions at the same time. I will admit, though, I had seen pictures of her in the Dröge’s home and knew that she was cute.

Luisa: In my second-to-last transfer I found a letter in my mailbox and from the handwriting on the envelope the first thing I honestly thought was that one of my letters had been sent back! Then I saw that it was from an Elder that I didn’t know, but after a second I recognized the name from my parents’ letters as a missionary serving in their branch.

I was touched by his testimony and his kind words and decided to reply with my own testimony. In addition to the letter, he sent two small pictures of himself, which unfortunately I showed to my companion, Sister Queiroz from Brazil. She insisted that this Elder was going to be my future husband and wouldn’t stop bothering me about it, which was totally ridiculous because first, I didn’t even know that Elder, second, I was still a missionary, and third, from the pictures I knew he was not my type... although I thought the smile and the curly hair were kinda cute (He later explained that he sent the pictures because it felt weird that he had seen pictures of me but I would have just gotten a faceless letter from some random Elder).

Josh: We wrote each other back one more time each (I actually wrote a third letter but she never received it). I remember being really impressed by the strength of her testimony, both from the letters that she wrote to me and from parts of letters to her family that her parents read to us. In that time, I also saw a video of the Christmas lights on Temple Square that Sister Dröge happened to be featured in. I saw the video on the front page of lds.org, and thought that I recognized the Sister missionary from somewhere. Then I saw the German flag under her name tag and realized who it must be. So I pretty much am married to a celebrity.

If you can't see the video, you can find it here

Luisa: By now it was the beginning of December 2010 and my mission was almost at an end. Before each missionary ends their mission, they have a final “exit interview” with their mission president, who presides over the mission and takes care of the many missionaries with his wife. During my interview, we talked about my experiences and he asked if I had any concerns going home. I told him about my concerns about being almost 25 already and the difficulty of finding someone of our faith to marry in Germany. Then he said something which was very untypical for a mission president, and especially for my mission president: “Sister Dröge, two of my daughters married missionaries who were serving in their ward.” I was a little shocked and didn’t exactly know what to make of that.

December 11, 2010 - We meet at last

Josh: The Dröges invited us over on December 11^th for a “welcome home breakfast” for Luisa, who arrived home on the 9^th. There were also a few others from the branch and the Sister missionaries from the Dröges’ home ward. I was looking forward to meeting Luisa in person but it still felt just a little strange. When we arrived at the Dröges’ apartment, Luisa was with her dad picking up the Sisters.

Luisa: When I got home from picking up the Sisters, the Elders had already arrived and were waiting in the living room. I went over to meet them and shake their hands.

Josh: I shook Luisa’s hand and introduced myself as usual with my name, “Elder Kutterer,” to which Luisa simply smiled and replied, “I know.” It probably looked somewhat like this:

It was a fun morning but I didn’t get to talk to Luisa much, since she was really tired and there were so many people there. But afterwards she and Sören walked us and the Sisters to the bus stop and we were able to talk a little on the way. I can’t remember what we talked about but I remember that Luisa switched from German into English halfway through the conversation without realizing it.

Luisa: I remember that talking to Elder Kutterer just felt very natural. But it wasn’t until the next day at church when I realized how much I was looking forward to seeing him again, which was really strange to me because I had just gotten home from my mission and knew that missionaries aren’t supposed to have any sort of romantic contact while on their missions.

I gave my homecoming talk in sacrament meeting and then there was a potluck afterwards for everyone.

Josh: Luisa’s mom had arranged a musical number for the sacrament meeting by one of Luisa’s good friends, who played one of her favorite songs on violin. During the potluck, he sat at the same table as Luisa, Sören, and I, and I have to admit I was a little jealous of how good of friends they were. That’s when I really realized that I had some feelings already for her, but I pushed them away thinking that I had just met her, and I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about that kind of thing anyway as a missionary. I told myself it was probably just because I was getting toward the end of my mission.

Luisa: The following weeks I went teaching with the missionaries. I was excited to still be a missionary attending their visits, sharing my testimony and bringing people closer to Christ. I hadn’t started University again yet, but still had my semester ticket, which enabled me to freely travel in the public transportation in Münster and surrounding areas. And since the branch was so tiny, it was a wonderful opportunity for the missionaries to bring a member along.

Josh: It really was such a benefit having Luisa come to appointments with us – it’s every missionary companionship’s dream to have a recently-returned missionary come to appointments with them and Luisa was such a good teacher. I also started to notice more and more things that I liked about her, like the way she was around kids and how much she loves the Gospel. We got to talk to each other while traveling to appointments and we realized that we had a lot in common. But I kept reminding myself to focus on my missionary work, as hard as it was sometimes. I actually told my companion that he needed to decide whom we would invite from the ward to come with us to appointments so I wouldn’t be tempted to just invite Luisa to each one. And I got really good at watching church movies in my head when my thoughts would otherwise wander. So if anyone wants to quiz me on “The Restoration” movie, I can quote most of it in either English or German!

Luisa: It was during that time that I really got to know Elder Kutterer, well at least his missionary self, which I guess is the best version of one’s self or the glimpse of one’s potential. And I really liked that glimpse. The way he lived the Gospel and especially his obedience towards God is what actually made me grow very fond of him. His beautiful smile and the light in his eyes did the rest for me to fall in love with him. 

I still didn’t want to open myself up to those feelings, since I went through some disappointing and hurtful experiences in the past and this time I wanted to handle things differently. And let’s not forget, he was still on his mission! I guess I was so concerned to find someone to love and be loved by (Mr. Right, you know), that on my mission, just before I went home, I started to pray to meet a good companion, someone the Lord sees fit for me. And that He would use these last weeks to help me change the things I needed to change in order to be the right woman for this man. I even wrote a list, a looong list, with all the attributes and things I wanted to have in a husband.

But this was confusing, why should I fall for a missionary? I mean, come on Heavenly Father, you said they should be really concentrating on other things. So there was nothing I could really do other than wait till he would leave for home or forget about him.

It turns out, I couldn’t forget about him. Yes, I wanted to see him every day, but then again I didn’t. Also did he like me? I think he did. But did he really like me? Should I’ve even ask myself that question? Of course I wanted to make a memorable impression, but what was too much, too obvious? It was definitely hard being patient, waiting for someone, who very likely would go home in just a few weeks and marry some American girl which he would have met at BYU.

Josh: I was asking myself the same questions. I kept getting small hints that maybe she liked me, but I would tell myself that I was probably just reading too much into what she said, and I shouldn’t even be thinking about it anyway because I am a missionary! Since I was going home at the beginning of February I knew I could handle it until the end.

We had quite a scare when Luisa’s dad texted us one morning that Luisa was in the hospital for really bad abdominal pain. She ended up having to get two ovarian cysts surgically removed and was stuck in the hospital over New Year’s (it’s hard to believe that by this time she had only been home about three weeks). As a missionary district (we were in a district with the Elders in Paderborn and the Sisters in Hamm) we decided…on my suggestion…to visit her in the hospital and bring her a get-well card. So I made a card with a really nice get-well message, then signed my name underneath and handed it to the other missionaries, expecting that they would sign their names as well to make the message be from all of us. Instead they all wrote their own tiny, “Get well soon!” messages underneath, so in the end we had this card with one long message from me and then a bunch of little, “feel better” messages from everyone else…awkward...

Yeah, the big green message on the right was supposed to be from everyone...notice that I said "We're so glad"

Luisa: All I remember is that I wasn’t wearing makeup and was wearing red-orange pajamas that made me look even more sick than I was. Great…let me just hide the bedpan under my covers so no one sees it…Surprise!

Josh: But she definitely passed the “Pajamas and No Makeup” test with flying colors.

Interlude: Other Important People

Josh: So this is probably a good time to introduce a couple other key characters in our story.

Character #1: I wasn’t the only one in the branch who had developed feelings for Luisa. There was another young adult in the branch who was there on a study abroad from Spain, and he was not subtle in how he felt about her. He flirted with her a lot and asked her out on dates, and I had no idea how she felt about him and kept having to tell myself that I was a missionary and shouldn’t even be worrying about it (later Luisa told me that she was completely oblivious to it the whole time and didn’t even realize that going to the movies and getting dinner counted as a date…). The toughest part was that we ended up being really good friends, but I really was afraid that she had feelings for him because she kept going out on dates with him. He also was a returned missionary and would come to appointments with us regularly. I got really worried when he told me one evening on the way home from an appointment that he had read an article recently on romantic love and how he was planning on marrying a German girl and staying in Germany. I was having enough trouble not thinking about stuff like that and this made it even harder!

Character #2: In between Luisa getting out of the hospital and me giving her a blessing, I got a new mission companion who was the king of awkwardness – and took pride in it. I told him right away about the situation with Luisa and he was willing to help keep me focused, but he took pleasure in dropping little comments every once in a while, like, “Did you see that she did her makeup for you today?” or, “She dressed up for you today.” And every time we were with her he would try to make the situation awkward – I’m not sure if it was an attempt to keep my feelings for Luisa in check or just some sadistic pleasure at creating the most awkward situation he could. Most likely the sadistic pleasure option.

Both of them are really good friends of ours but sometimes I wanted to punch my companion…

Blessing

Luisa: So after I got out of the hospital at the beginning of January, I ended up getting really sick, probably as a complication from the surgery. I got a blessing of healing from my dad, but it didn’t get better and the doctor wasn’t able to figure out how to treat it correctly. I had the feeling I should ask the Elders to give me a blessing but I felt awkward asking them. But then I told my dad, and he agreed and had actually been thinking the same thing.

Josh: Luisa’s dad texted us, asking if we could help give Luisa a blessing. Since blessings are often given with two or more people, I figured her dad would actually speak the blessing and we would be there to help. So I was definitely surprised and a little overwhelmed to find out that Luisa wanted me to give the blessing (I didn’t know that she had already received one from her dad before). It ended up being a very powerful spiritual experience that did a lot to strengthen our friendship with each other.

We believe that when a blessing is given, the person giving the blessing acts as the mouthpiece of God and the things he says are inspired by the Holy Ghost. I had given blessings before, but this time I felt more guided than I ever had previously. I don’t remember most of what I said, but between the two of us we remember a few things. I blessed her to know of the things she would need to do to get better and with the comfort of knowing that everything would be all right. I also said that the doctors who see her would be able to figure out what was wrong and help her get better.

Luisa: Elder Kutterer paused for a moment, as if trying to figure out what to say. Then he said something that wasn’t quite typical for a blessing for the sick. “I bless you with the Holy Ghost to guide you in important decisions that you will need to make in the near future.”

Josh: I didn’t think much about it until after we got home and my companion turned to me and said, “Do you realize what you said to her at the end of the blessing?” After a second I realized what he was hinting at and was shocked that I had said that. There were definitely some big decisions in her future that would hopefully involve me, and I hadn’t even realized what I was saying when I had the feeling to say that to her.

Luisa: At the very next appointment, the doctor had the feeling that he should do an X-ray of my lungs and found out that I had pneumonia and tonsillitis, and he was able to get me the right prescription to treat them correctly.

Josh: Around this time, I wasn’t quite sure what I should do about my feelings for Luisa so I emailed my dad for advice. He emailed me a talk from Spencer W. Kimball that many missionaries know about, where he tells missionaries to “lock their heart” until they are done with their missions, in terms of romantic feelings. I was hoping for a little more practical advice on how to actually do the “locking” but I was glad for the motivation to stick with it.

January 22, 2011 – Josh’s Exit Interview

Josh: Toward the end of January I had my exit interview with my mission president because I would be going home on February 10^th. I was nervous because I knew that I needed to tell President Ninow about how I felt about Luisa. It wasn’t the first time that an Elder had fallen for a girl in the area they were serving in, and most of the time either they were transferred to a different area right away or they were told they were only allowed to have contact with the girl at church. Neither option seemed appealing to me, especially since I only had two weeks left before I was going home. Also, President Ninow was a very “by the book” mission president. He had so much love for the missionaries but he also expected a lot and the mission rules were very important. So I guess “nervous” was an understatement – I was scared to death! But I did know that I had kept the rules which helped me feel a little better.

He started out by asking me to share a spiritual experience from my mission, and I shared the story of how Sören’s friend had gotten baptized, and how amazing the experience was. And of course I talked about Luisa’s important part in the story.

We talked a little bit about my plans for after the mission, and then President Ninow asked if I had a girlfriend waiting for me at home. I told him that I had never had a girlfriend before and didn’t really even know how to tell a girl that I liked her. He laughed…and I knew that now was the time that I needed to say something.

“So President…there’s something on that topic I need to talk to you about.”

Now President Ninow just smiled. “And what is that, Elder Kutterer?”

“So…the girl I mentioned earlier that was serving on Temple Square…she got home last month…and I have started to develop some pretty strong feelings for her…”

Now this was the part where I expected him to say, “Well, pack your bags when you get home and I’ll call you tonight to let you know where you are being transferred to.” But instead, President Ninow just smiled again and leaned forward with a contemplative look on his face (every missionary that served under him knows exactly the look I am talking about). My jaw about dropped when he said, “Well, tell me about her. What do you like about her? Can you picture yourself marrying her?”

Well, I told him what I liked about her, and then he asked, “Is she the kind of girl that will help you get to the Celestial Kingdom?” And I was honestly able to say yes, that she was. Then he asked me a tougher question: “Do you think that she has the same feelings for you?” I told him that I thought it was possible, but I wasn’t sure, and he told me that he was glad that I hadn’t tried too hard to find out. But just when I thought that my jaw couldn’t drop any farther, he said, “But from what you have told me, I have the feeling she likes you, too.” WHAT???

At the end of the interview he told me that he didn’t feel like the situation was a problem, and that I should let him know if it ever became one or if things became too awkward (it’s good my companion didn’t hear him say that). And then he asked me if I was still interested in extending my mission six weeks, which I had talked to him about a couple months before Luisa had gotten home. That was a tough decision because on the one hand I loved my mission and had been really hoping to extend it a little, especially since we were having so much success in Münster, but on the other hand, I kind of wanted to get home so I could move forward in the whole situation with Luisa. But I told him I was still interested.

The last words he said as I left the room was, “Love your wife, then everything will be all right.” Then he smiled again and said, “But wait until you get home from your mission first.”

About a week later my extension got approved by the general mission office in Salt Lake City, so I would be leaving on March 24^th instead of February 10^th.

Luisa: The telephone rang and I answered and it was Elder Kutterer, who told me that his extension had been approved. I didn’t know how to react so I just said, “Hey…that’s great” but really feeling the opposite. I really wanted him to go home so I could tell him about my feelings, but instead he would stay another six weeks, and we didn’t even know yet if he would stay in Münster for those six weeks or get transferred somewhere else…awesome…not.

Josh: “Hey…that’s great” wasn’t quite the reaction I was hoping for, but I told myself that maybe it was because she had the same thoughts I did about not wanting to have to wait an extra six weeks to talk to each other about our feelings.

That Saturday we would find out whether I would stay in Münster or not. I had already been in the area for 7 months, which was longer than missionaries typically stayed in a single city. President Ninow called me in the afternoon to ask if things were still ok or if he needed to transfer me away. I told him that I thought things were still ok but that he should do what he felt was right. That night he called and let me know that I would be staying in Münster and I was so relieved.

Luisa: Two weeks before Elder Kutterer was going to go home, after a very spiritual evening I finally decided to pray about him and ask God if he was the right person for me. I remember I got home and lay down in bed and prayed to know if Elder Kutterer was the right man to marry. I don’t remember everything I said or all the things I felt when receiving my answer, but I saw his face in front of me and light surrounding him/us. I had the very strong impression, that he was a man to marry and that Heavenly Father approved of him. Still, it was up to his decision if things would work out the way I hoped they would. I decided to write a letter to him, that I planned to give him the day before his departure. I that I mostly thanked him for his service, but in the P.S. line I wrote: “Elder Kutterer, I want to see you again, please let me know how you are doing.”

March 21, 2011 – The Talk

The Elder to the right of Luisa was the first Elder
I trained, and was also her district leader in the MTC

Josh: The last six weeks went by in a blur and my decision to stay was definitely validated. I would be leaving Germany on March 24^th. The weekend before I left, I started wondering how I would be able to tell Luisa about how I felt about her. Telling her over the phone or over Skype seemed like it would be a little awkward, but there was no way I would be allowed to tell her in person before going home. I decided to ask my mission president anyway and called him on Monday morning while my companion was conveniently in the bathroom getting ready. The conversation went as follows:

“Hi President, I just had a question about the girl I talked to you about in my exit interview…”

“No Elder Kutterer, you can’t give her a goodbye kiss.”

I laughed (read: choked) and could just feel him grinning on the other end as I felt completely awkward…

“What I really wanted to ask was, do I need to wait until I get home to tell her about my feelings or would I be able to talk to her in person?”

“No, I think it would be a good idea to talk to her in person. Just keep it short. Oh, and your companion needs to be there.” My elation at being able to talk to her in person was instantly deflated by that last sentence as I pictured Mr. Awkward breathing down our necks in the middle of our conversation. But I knew that he was right, since one of the most important mission rules is always to be within sight and hearing of your companion.

I mentioned again that I had no idea how to even tell Luisa that I liked her, and he said something along the lines of, “Just tell her that over the time you have gotten to know her that you have noticed a lot of things you really like about her, and that you have developed strong feelings for her.” I thanked him and hung up the phone, then related the news through the bathroom door to my companion, who probably dropped his razor on his foot out of shock, combined with excitement at the opportunity to inflict his aura of awkwardness on us yet again.

Luisa: I had organized a Family Home Evening at the church for the Young Single Adults in the branch that evening. Two young men who were investigating the church were there, along with the Elders, me, and Character #1 from above. We watched a church video together and played some games, and then everyone went home except for the Elders, the guy from Spain, and me (the two of us were taking the same train to get home, so we would be leaving at the same time). The entire evening, I felt like Elder Kutterer was acting a little different, not really talking to me.

While we were all waiting and talking, Elder Kutterer’s companion chose to bring up the topic of public displays of affection and how much he hated them. He asked me if I thought it was ok for couples to hold hands in public, etc. and I thought it was a really strange topic to bring up, especially for a missionary.

Josh: What a punk! He was lucky that I was still a missionary…and that I took anger management classes when I was a kid…because I really wanted to punch him at that moment. It was already hard enough to hear myself think over the sound of my heart pounding as I tried to work up the courage to talk to Luisa. And I still didn’t know how we were going to get a moment away from her other admirer so I could say anything to her. Luckily I had already been planning to give him my Tschüß Book (each missionary had a journal they would pass around before leaving an area to have friends and other missionaries write a goodbye message in it), and then I realized that my only chance to talk to Luisa would be while he was writing in it.

Luisa: After briefly discussing the strange PDA topic, Elder Kutterer all of a sudden said, “Luisa, we need to talk to you about something.” I just said ok, thinking they wanted to discuss people they had been teaching together with me. But then they indicated that we should go somewhere else, glancing meaningfully over at Character #1, who was writing in the Tschüß Book. Immediately, Elder Kutterer walked around the corner toward the kitchen, without a single glance back, and suddenly my heart started to race. My first thought was, “I’m not allowed to be alone with the missionaries” (one of the missionary rules is that missionaries should not be alone with a member of the opposite sex). I quickly turned to Elder Owens and asked, “Is it something bad?” He just smiled and said, “No.” But I knew I couldn’t trust that…I feared that Elder Kutterer had figured out that I liked him, that somehow through my behavior I had acted inappropriately toward him and that he was going to tell me that I needed to stop.

We recreated the scene when we visited a couple years later

Josh: I was of course even more scared at this point than I had been when I was waiting to tell my mission president about Luisa. I got to the kitchen (of course the most romantic room in the church building…but the farthest away from anyone that might overhear) and sat down on a table just inside the door. Luisa leaned against the counter across from me and my companion stayed just outside the door so at least he was out of the picture a little bit.

My mind went completely blank because I was so nervous and I just started out by saying, “I talked to my mission president this morning and he said it would be a good idea to talk about this before I go home.”

Luisa: Oh my gosh, he talked to his mission president? Oh no, this is worse than I thought.

Josh: “I don’t want to make things awkward between us or ruin the friendship that we have…”

Luisa: Here it comes, he’s going to tell me that I am acting inappropriately, or that he doesn’t have feelings for me, and he’s afraid it’s going to ruin our friendship.

Josh: At this point, she looked at the ground and her smile had completely disappeared. Oh no, this is not good. She knows what I am going to say and she doesn’t feel the same way about me. By this time I was so terrified that I couldn’t form any more cohesive thoughts and repeated almost word for word what my mission president had told me to say…

“…but over the past few months I have noticed a lot of things that I really like about you and have developed very strong feelings for you, and I was wondering if you feel the same way?”

Luisa: Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no…this is not good, not good…wait…what did he say? He has strong feelings for me? I looked up and couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across my face as I said, “I feel the same way.”

It was basically like this:

Josh: I let out the biggest sigh of relief as I felt a huge weight drop off of my shoulders. It’s impossible to describe how it felt. Then we both looked out into the hall and saw that my companion was curled up in fetal position on the ground, rocking back and forth. Mr. “I hate public displays of affection” was having a nervous breakdown from the sheer awkwardness of being a witness to our exchanging of undying vows of affection…or whatever the missionary version of that is. And I have to admit, it felt like sweet revenge for all the little digs and comments he had made to try and make things awkward for me.

Luisa: That was the moment I knew for certain that I would marry him. We took a few minutes to talk about how we felt, and then a little more about the logistics of how we would stay in touch after he went home (in between pleas from Elder Kutterer’s companion of “Can we go home now, please?”). At the end of the conversation, Elder Kutterer told me that I shouldn’t tell my parents until after he was home from his mission at the end of the week. Finally, we ended his companion’s torment and gave each other a missionary-appropriate good-night handshake and then the Elders left.

Josh: I’m sure that was the first time since the colonial era that two people parted ways with a handshake after deciding to become a couple.

Luisa: The Elders took off and the guy from Spain and I went home together on the train. We talked; well, he talked. I honestly didn’t really hear what he was saying, everything was a blur. Did this really just happen? Everything I dreamed of came true. Yes, that’s why the 21^st of March is my favorite day! I went home, peeking into my mom’s room to say goodnight (she later told me that just from the sound of how I said it, she knew what had happened, …moms). I went to bed and of course couldn’t sleep, instead I smiled and smiled some more. :)

Josh: I got home and just stood there for a moment, still not believing what had just happened. All I could think was, I have a girlfriend! And then, well, I’ve never gotten this far before. What do I do now? And of course my companion’s first words when we walk in the apartment were, “I get to tell the Sisters!” He had obviously recovered already. I think I slept a total of about half an hour that night.

We spent the next evening, my last evening in Münster, having dinner with Luisa’s family. The entire dinner, I don’t think Luisa and I said one word to each other. We just kept making eye contact with each other and smiling. But I still remember how sad I was when I realized that there wasn’t going to be enough room in the car for Luisa to come with us to the train station.

After dinner, we all took pictures together and then it was time to say goodbye. That was the worst. I asked her to call me at midnight that Thursday when I would be home, and then we gave each other a quick (somewhat awkward, missionary-appropriate) hug and said goodbye.

March 24, 2011 – Home

Josh: After the long transatlantic flight back to the states, I saw my parents and my best friend for the first time in over two years when they picked me up at the airport. We drove to the church to meet with my Stake President who then released me as a missionary. Then we went home and some friends came over to catch up.

At midnight the phone rang and I got up and said goodbye to everyone and rushed into my bedroom with the phone. It felt so good to hear Luisa’s voice on the line.

Luisa: I don’t remember much about what we talked about but at one point in the conversation Josh said that he thought our goal should be to get married, because otherwise what was the point of being in a relationship? I agreed and told him that I had already prayed about it and gotten an answer. Then there was silence on the other end.

Josh: I wasn’t quite expecting to hear that Luisa had already gotten an answer to her prayers that we should get married – I had just told her a few days earlier that I liked her! I was a little overwhelmed, to be honest, but I told her that I wanted to pray about it myself. We talked some more, and then at the end of the call I told her that I loved her, which I can honestly say was the truth.

Luisa: I wasn’t sure if I heard him right, acoustically and literally, I paused, but then said it back. 

This was the beginning of a long adventure and distant relationship held alive by many, many skype conversations.

Josh: After that first call I told my dad that Luisa and I had decided to be in a relationship together. He was happy for me but advised me to take it slow. I told him not to worry, that was exactly what I was planning on doing.

April 1^st, 2011 – Trip to Salt Lake

Josh: A week later I traveled down to Salt Lake with friends to go to General Conference and visit one of my favorite mission companions, as well as go to a mini mission reunion. My mom decided to play an April Fool’s joke and posted on Facebook that we were engaged…thanks Mom…so I had to keep telling people we weren’t engaged when they called to congratulate me.

That night we were Skyping; I was staying in my mission companion’s basement and everyone had gone to bed. At the beginning of the call, I had an interesting thought go through my mind. “You already know that you should marry her. What are you waiting for?” Ummm…what am I waiting for? I’m waiting to be home from my mission longer than eight days. Plus, I was sure it had only crossed my mind because of my mom’s joke earlier that day.

We kept talking, but the thought kept coming back over and over again. At about two in the morning, it finally got through my thick skull that I really did know already that I wanted to marry her. I remembered a time toward the end of my mission that I had pictured clearly in my mind a scene with the two of us together, with a little boy sitting on my knee. And when I had prayed about getting married to her, I had seen in my mind a picture of us both kneeling across from each other at the altar in the temple.

Luisa: When Josh told me about that later I was really surprised because I had seen in my mind the exact scene in the temple myself. And later when we went to the temple in Seattle together for the first time, I was really surprised that the sealing rooms were the exact same colors that I had seen.

Josh: I decided that I wasn’t going to push it out any longer and said out loud, more to myself than to her, “I don’t want to wait anymore.” She thought I meant that I didn’t want to wait anymore to see her again. But then I followed that simply with, “Luisa, will you marry me?” Yes, I did propose over Skype, in my mission companion’s basement, wearing Superman pajamas, because I am the most romantic person in the world (I mean, look at my track record: I told Luisa I really liked her in the kitchen, with my mission companion there, then parted ways afterwards with a handshake). And I became the happiest man in the world when Luisa smiled and said, “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

Luisa: We decided to keep our engagement a secret for a while so people wouldn’t look at us crazy for getting engaged so fast. But we had both already known it was right, even before Josh got home from his mission, even if he didn’t know yet that he knew.

Josh: The next two days were General Conference and I was able to be in the Conference Center for almost every session. And I couldn’t believe how many times the speakers said directly how important it not to push off marriage – to the point where the woman I was sitting next to nudged me and asked jokingly if I was paying attention (I just thought, You have no idea…). And in case you don’t believe me, here are just a few examples:

Elder Dallin H. Oaks: Desire

“I close with a final example of a desire that should be paramount for all men and women—those who are currently married and those who are single. All should desire and seriously work to secure a marriage for eternity. Those who already have a temple marriage should do all they can to preserve it. Those who are single should desire a temple marriage and exert priority efforts to obtain it. Youth and young singles should resist the politically correct but eternally false concept that discredits the importance of marrying and having children.”

President Thomas S. Monson: Priesthood Power

“Brethren, there is a point at which it’s time to think seriously about marriage and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity. If you choose wisely and if you are committed to the success of your marriage, there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness.”

Richard G. Scott: The Eternal Blessings of Marriage

“If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste time in idle pursuits. Get on with life and focus on getting married. Don’t just coast through this period of life….Make your highest priority finding a worthy, eternal companion. When you find you are developing an interest in a young woman, show her that you are an exceptional person that she would find interesting to know better. Take her to places that are worthwhile. Show some ingenuity. If you want to have a wonderful wife, you need to have her see you as a wonderful man and prospective husband.”

So it definitely felt like a confirmation of my decision to propose to Luisa!

Luisa: It ended up being really good that Josh proposed so quickly, because we ended up waiting nine months for my fiancée visa to be approved so we could get married. I spent the summer with Josh’s family and we got to know each other a lot better in that time, then I flew back home for the last three months. On December 20, 2011, I flew back into Seattle with my mom and my brother, Sören, who had just gone to the temple for the first time, and was then able to be one of the witnesses for our wedding. We got married on December 28, 2011 in the Seattle Temple.

Afternote: Mr. Awkward mission companion took it upon himself to spread his story (our story) around the entire mission of having to be there while his companion told a girl in the ward that he liked her. We went back to visit Germany in the summer of 2013 and went to church in the first ward that I had served in, Wesel. When the missionaries heard my name, they said, "Oh, you're Elder Kutterer? We've heard about you and your story." So another reason we are sharing the entire story is to clear up any...inconsistencies the story may have developed as it was passed along ;) Apparently it also made it to the Berlin mission...